- But why did they live at the bottom of a well? - Take some more
tea, - the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly. - I've had nothing
yet, - Alice replied in an offended tone, - so I can't take more.
- You mean you can't take LESS, - said the Hatter: - it's very easy
to take MORE than nothing.
- Nobody asked YOUR opinion, - said Alice.
- Who's making personal remarks now? - the Hatter asked triumphantly.
Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself to
some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and
repeated her question. - Why did they live at the bottom of a well?
The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then
said, - It was a treacle-well.
- There's no such thing! - Alice was beginning very angrily, but the
Hatter and the March Hare went - Sh! sh! - and the Dormouse sulkily
remarked, - If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the story for
yourself.
- No, please go on! - Alice said very humbly; - I won't interrupt
again. I dare say there may be ONE.
- One, indeed! - said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he consented
to go on. - And so these three little sisters - they were learning to
draw, you know
- What did they draw? - said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.
- Treacle, - said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time.
- I want a clean cup, - interrupted the Hatter: - let's all move one
place on.
He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March
Hare moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather unwillingly took
the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got any
advantage from the change: and Alice was a good deal worse off than
before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk-jug into his plate.
Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very
cautiously: - But I don't understand. Where did they draw the treacle
from?
- You can draw water out of a water-well, - said the Hatter; - so I
should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well - eh, stupid?
- But they were IN the well, - Alice said to the Dormouse, not
choosing to notice this last remark.
- Of course they were', said the Dormouse; - well in. This answer so
confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse go on for some time without
interrupting it.
- They were learning to draw, - the Dormouse went on, yawning and
rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; - and they drew all
manner of things - everything that begins with an M
- Why with an M? - said Alice.
- Why not? - said the March Hare. Alice was silent. The Dormouse had
closed its eyes by this time, and was going off into a doze; but, on being
pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with a little shriek, and went on:
- that begins with an M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory,
and muchness-you know you say things are - much of a muchness - did you
ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?
- Really, now you ask me, - said Alice, very much confused, - I don't
think
- Then you shouldn't talk, - said the Hatter. This piece of rudeness
was more than Alice could bear: she got up in great disgust, and walked
off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and neither of the others took
the least notice of her going, though she looked back once or twice, half
hoping that they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they
were trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.
- At any rate I'll never go THERE again! - said Alice as she picked
her way through the wood. - It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in
all my life!
Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door
leading right into it. - That's very curious! - she thought. - But
everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at once. - And in
she went.
Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little
glass table. - Now, I'll manage better this time, - she said to herself,
and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that led
into the garden. Then she wet to work nibbling at the mushroom (she had
kept a piece of it in her pocked) till she was about a foot high: then she
walked down the little passage: and THEN - she found herself at last in
the beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool fountains.
CHAPTER VIII
The Queen's Croquet-Ground
A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses
growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily
painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious thing, and she went
nearer to watch them, and just as she came up to them she heard one of
them say, - Look out now, Five! Don't go splashing paint over me like
that!
- I couldn't help it, - said Five, in a sulky tone; - Seven jogged my
elbow.
On which Seven looked up and said, - That's right, Five! Always lay
the blame on others!
- YOU'D better not talk!'said Five. - I heard the Queen say only
yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!
- What for? - said the one who had spoken first.
- That's none of YOUR business, Two! - said Seven.
- Yes, it IS his business! - said Five, - and I'll tell him - it was
for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.
Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun - Well, of all the
unjust things - when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood
watching them, and he checked himself suddenly: the others looked round
also, and all of them bowed low.
- Would you tell me, - said Alice, a little timidly, - why you are
painting those roses?
Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a low
voice, - Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been a
RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; and if the Queen was
to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know. So you
see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore she comes, to At this moment Five,
who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called out - The Queen!
The Queen! - and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon
their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice looked round,
eager to see the Queen.
First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped like
the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and feet at the
corners: next the ten courtiers; these were ornamented all over with
diamonds, and walked two and two, as the soldiers did. After these came
the royal children; there were ten of them, and the little dears came
jumping merrily along hand in hand, in couples: they were all ornamented
with hearts. Next came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them
Alice recognised the White Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried nervous
manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without noticing
her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the King's crown on a
crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this grand procession, came THE
KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS.
Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on her
face like the three gardeners, but she could not remember every having
heard of such a rule at processions; - and besides, what would be the use
of a procession, - thought she, - if people had all to lie down upon their
faces, so that they couldn't see it? - So she stood still where she was,
and waited.
When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped and
looked at her, and the Queen said severely - Who is this? - She said it to
the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply.
- Idiot! - said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and, turning
to Alice, she went on, - What's your name, child?
- My name is Alice, so please your Majesty, - said Alice very
politely; but she added, to herself, - Why, they're only a pack of cards,
after all. I needn't be afraid of them!
- And who are THESE? - said the Queen, pointing to the three
gardeners who were lying round the rosetree; for, you see, as they were
lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs was the same as the
rest of the pack, she could not tell whether they were gardeners, or
soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her own children.
- How should I know? - said Alice, surprised at her own courage. -
It's no business of MINE. The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after
glaring at her for a moment like a wild beast, screamed - Off with her
head! Off
- Nonsense! - said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen
was silent.
The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said - Consider, my
dear: she is only a child!
The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave - Turn
them over!
The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot. - Get up! - said the
Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the three gardeners instantly jumped
up, and began bowing to the King, the Queen, the royal children, and
everybody else.
- Leave off that! - screamed the Queen. - You make me giddy. - And
then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, - What HAVE you been doing
here?
- May it please your Majesty, - said Two, in a very humble tone,
going down on one knee as he spoke, - we were trying
- I see! - said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the
roses. - Off with their heads! - and the procession moved on, three of the
soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate gardeners, who ran to
Alice for protection.
- You shan't be beheaded! - said Alice, and she put them into a large
flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered about for a minute
or two, looking for them, and then quietly marched off after the others.
- Are their heads off? - shouted the Queen.
- Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty! - the soldiers
shouted in reply.
- That's right! - shouted the Queen. - Can you play croquet? The
soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question was evidently
meant for her.
- Yes! - shouted Alice.
- Come on, then! - roared the Queen, and Alice joined the procession,
wondering very much what would happen next.
- It's - it's a very fine day! - said a timid voice at her side. She
was walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face.
- Very, - said Alice: - where's the Duchess?
- Hush! Hush! - said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He looked
anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised himself upon
tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and whispered - She's under
sentence of execution.
- What for? - said Alice.
- Did you say - What a pity! - ? - the Rabbit asked.
- No, I didn't, - said Alice: - I don't think it's at all a pity. I
said - What for?
- She boxed the Queen's ears - the Rabbit began. Alice gave a little
scream of laughter. - Oh, hush! - the Rabbit whispered in a frightened
tone. - The Queen will hear you! You see, she came rather late, and the
Queen said
- Get to your places! - shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, and
people began running about in all directions, tumbling up against each
other; however, they got settled down in a minute or two, and the game
began. Alice thought she had never seen such a curious croquet-ground in
her life; it was all ridges and furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs,
